March, 2017

Choosing Life

“I don’t want to hear your emotional opinion about an unborn fetus, Tonya!”  Kim glared at me with cold eyes from across the table as her harsh tone  poisoned the air in the room. Attending the Innovative Truth bible study since December I knew Kim grew up in an abusive home; but wanting a better life she had earned an associates degree, held a decent job and now was attending the bible study to, as she said, “learn about this Jesus guy.” Kim listened, took notes, and challenged me with questions she posed each week. That morning Kim reached out to me privately to drop the bombshell about her unplanned pregnancy. “I come to Innovative Truth Tonya because I like that you speak to us in a way we understand. I knew I liked you the day you told us, ‘if we wanted something sugar-coated then we should stop by a bakery before the meeting,’ but otherwise we can expect straight talk from you, so don’t try to change my mind with a bunch of emotional talk now. It’s not your way. I am pregnant by a man who is not going to help me; having a child alone isn’t going to be fun or easy, and a legal abortion seems like a common sense choice.”
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I have been sick with viral pneumonia since the second week of February. You know what it’s like when your body feels exhausted and your intellect seems to have drained? Well that’s how I’d felt for over a month when Kim launched the “common sense abortion” grenade at me. She stared at me defiantly waiting for my reply. Impatience from having been sick, I wanted to lash out that this was a baby, not just a fetus! I wanted to remind her, murder was one of the Ten Commandments and the consequences wouldn’t be fun or easy either! Abortion is an especially touchy topic for me having buried my own first child after a full-term pregnancy ended tragically as a still-birth. But sitting across from Kim that day I bit my tongue, closed my eyes, and asked God to give me His words to speak. I asked Him to empty me in that moment and fill me with the Holy Spirit. I waited till His answer settled on my heart. God reminded me that my swift desire to love and protect the baby was noble, yet I could not forget to love the mother sitting across from me. Yes, the baby is His child, but so is Kim.
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With a tempered spirit, I recalled what she said, “I don’t want to hear your emotional opinion…” I felt God directing my words as I asked, “Kim do you remember we read about the crucifixion of Jesus and how he was beaten by the Roman soldiers?” She nodded. I elaborated, “That beating was called a scourging. Scourging was possibly the worst kind of flogging administered, whose purpose was not only  to cause great pain, but to humiliate, and demean the victim. The weapon used to deliver the punishment was called a flagellum, which is a whip with several strands, each as much as three feet long, weighted with sharp metal pieces. It was designed to cut and tear out the flesh. Jesus would have been stripped, shackled by His wrists to a low column so that He would be in a bent-over position. The soldiers would strike in an arc-like fashion across His exposed back. The weight of the metal at the ends of the leather strands would carry them to the front of His body as well as to His back, arms, shoulders, and legs. The bits of metal would dig deep into the flesh, ripping small blood vessels, nerves, muscle, and skin. The beating would have left Jesus bloody and weak, in unimaginable pain, and near the point of death.”  I could see my graphic account of the beating Jesus endured had Kim visibly shaking and holding back tears. She had started this by saying she appreciated my direct style so I didn’t hold back as I spoke my next words slowly and deliberately. “Kim you challenged me to be straight with you, so I will. I believe the tearing apart of Jesus’ flesh during His scourging sounds a whole lot like an abortion. They just use different weapons now.” Knowing there is no better word than a perfectly timed silence I sat in the excruciating heaviness of the room as tears flowed down her cheeks. Then I felt God urging me to continue as I quietly said, “Kim, while Jesus did not die during His scourging, your child will die during an abortion after his/her flesh is torn apart.”  I moved around the table to hold her hand. I gently told her, “I have counseled enough women who have had abortions to know, it is not just the child whose life is forever changed. My sweet friend, I know you are scared and feeling alone. Kim, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are options if you cannot raise the child, and we’ll discuss those. Right now I need you to know that YOU are the beautiful child of God who was uniquely chosen by Him to carry to birth this precious life inside you. In challenging situations, surrendering to God can require great courage. Surrendering doesn’t give you a ‘get out of jail free’ card. Surrender may mean more anguish for a time. I promise, with God leading, and His love inside you, nothing is impossible!” 


Kim is now receiving pre-natal care and is is entering her second trimester. Thank you for saving lives through your partnership with Innovative Truth.