GOD'S MANNA!

“The first cancer diagnosis in December 2011 was sobering and I knew unequivocally I wanted a Christian physician. I was on a mission to research the backgrounds of oncologists, check their ratings, and even set up consultations so I could pray for guidance as to who was the strong Christian believer God wanted for me. But as is often the case, if you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans.”

I’ve heard Tonya share this many times as she explains her more than 9 year association with Dr. K. (He has agreed to our sharing the journey provided we did not use his full name or photo.)

After initial consultations that included very direct questions with many oncologists, Tonya removed Dr. K, a devout atheist, as an option. She narrowed her choices down to 3 others and began praying. God placed Dr K on her heart repeatedly. No matter how many times Tonya tried to shake it off, God persisted. She admits she did not answer with an enthusiastic “YES” to God, but she did move forward with Dr. K.

“That first year of treatment was a lot of finding my feet in turbulent waters. As we beat the first diagnosis I was glad God led me to a smart, albeit very direct physician with a rough bedside manner. Truth is, we kinda matched. Then I received the 2nd, and then 3rd & 4th diagnosis’. It felt never-ending. I was frustrated because I’d said I wanted a Christian oncologist and now here I was in this nightmare of cancer with a non-believer. My direct nature began clashing with his. I was mad and wanted someone I could share it with. My mom died in 2015 and I felt very alone. I couldn’t understand why God would lead me to a physician who didn’t believe in Him! I would say Jesus was carrying me, Dr. K would smirk. I’d say how grateful I was for God’s tender hand, Dr. K would shrug. I wasn’t expecting Dr. K to be a pastor, but it would’ve been great if my doc didn’t roll his eyes when I mentioned needing God. I asked God if I could switch doctors. Ok, maybe I didn’t ask, more like I begged God to relieve me of His call to choose Dr. K. We butt heads so often I thought he’d kick me to the curb. I beat that diagnosis, and was ready to be done!”

That was mid-2016 and coincided with my meeting Tonya. The following year was cancer-free, yet Tonya continued to attend group meetings in Dr. K’s office with other patients. Dr. K didn’t participate but he mentioned a few times how Tonya helped other patients who were struggling. He scoffed whenever she referred to the group as “ministry,” yet there was something undeniable in his continued requests for her to speak to patients. Then came the next diagnosis. None are easy but that one was particularly difficult as my mom had just been diagnosed with cancer as well. It was a very rough time, yet Tonya served our family, the ministry, and endured some of the most grueling treatment Dr. K said he’d ever put anyone through. Mom’s own oncologist described Tonya’s treatment in terms making it clear I hadn’t understood the severity of what she was going through. Still we watched her hold the hands of other cancer patients as if she wasn’t crumbling herself. I saw Dr. K watching too. Tonya offered comfort when Mom died and stood with love supporting us at Mom’s funeral, never letting on to others how severe her own pain and treatment was that week.

Dr. K never missed an opportunity to remind us he was an atheist, and while he said he admired Tonya as a person for her strength, he adamantly said Christians “use their so-called God as a crutch.” Tonya never let his comments deter her from sharing her faith with him. She found ways in EVERY appointment to bring laughter. Then she’d slip in a bible verse. He’d roll his eyes, but she never gave up. She believed there must be a reason he was her doctor. She repeatedly told me she just knew God was whispering in Dr. K’s heart. Then we saw a crack in the armor! A situation happened while in the treatment room with another patient who was feeling particularly low. Tonya had just been disconnected from her chemo lines. She moved near the woman, bent down and quietly began talking to her. There were lots of tears and eventually even some laughter. As Tonya was leaving, Dr. K stopped her in the hall asking what had happened. Tonya recounted the story when Dr. K interrupted asking, “Remember that verse you told me? Did you tell her about God’s manna? That may have helped given what she shared with you.” You could have knocked Tonya over with a feather! She stood there stunned and speechless staring at this man who had spent years rolling his eyes at even the mention of God, always repeating, “I don’t believe.”

“Controlling the enthusiasm that was ready to erupt from my soul, I agreed, saying I would be sure to share that verse with her. Then I suggested he could share it with her if he saw her first. And there was the eye roll. But I knew God was working! As we drove home, I felt such gratitude for our Father’s patience. God hadn’t just been patient with Dr. K, but more so, the Lord was patient with me. I’d wanted to quit and switch doctors to make my path easier. I often became frustrated with Dr. K’s arrogance, not recognizing God chose specifically to put these two stubborn-headed people together. God didn’t give me cancer, but we know our Heavenly Father will stay right beside us as we carry our own crosses, and He will find a way to use it for His glory. God will even use 2020 and all her insanity to rock a spiritual awakening!” 

Dr. K and Tonya continued their dance, two steps forward, one back, a few side steps, another step forward. Dr. K continued to claim atheism, she continued as a conduit showing him God’s miracles. We saw changes.

He stopped calling God her crutch, and began using verbiage like, “Tonya displays healing which cannot be explained by science.” She continued to share God’s message of love. She asked others to pray for him. Innovative Truth partners referred to him as “Dr I don’t believe” as they prayed for him. Tonya shared bible verses with him. She never backed down when he asked the tough questions about faith. She invited him to church, he laughed. Two steps forward, one to the side; their dance continued.

In December she invited him to one of our Bible study groups. He responded, “No thanks.” At a follow-up appointment in January he said he started a bible study with a fellow physician who is a former atheist. Tonya stood up and danced! He laughed, responding, “Calm down, I didn’t say I was attending church.”

And then it happened. Two weeks ago she received a rare Sunday morning text from Dr. K saying he was attending church with a friend that day.

Ministry is a long haul. The dance is often clumsy. Though we can become impatient, we must remember God’s patience with us. We should lose our vision for speed, and stay focused that it is about the condition of the soul upon arrival.
​                                                                                          With all our love,

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